Very Very Upset.

Right now, we just got to camp and we cant smell anything but this rotten fish smell. Were all very happy to get to a new campground except me I just feel so worthless all the time. We just got informed the nasty smell is the sewage feild. We all got settled down, then all of a sudden we heard fires, and then heard kiowa yell in pain. I ran to see what had happened he was sinking in the "poop" and I tried and tried to pull him out but in order to  save myself I let him go or we would have both died. I wish it was him rather then me everyone loved kiowa he was well respected. I was a Coward, and I wanted to talk to someone about this horrible feeling inside of me but I had no one to talk to me I feel like everyone is mad at me and wishes it was me instead of kiowa. I dont know what to do now.